Packing ‘jokes of the day’ in my kids’ school lunches

A couple months ago on the first day of school, I included handwritten notes with well wishes for a great school year in my sons’ lunch bags. As I wrote each message, I envisioned that the boys would greatly appreciate my thoughtful sentiments.

Alas, the notes were met with a lukewarm reception.

“That was dumb, Mom.”

But I am not a quitter!

I learned my lesson, and I will attempt this note-lunch thing once again. This time, however, instead of a sentimental message I have decided to include a “joke of the day” in my elementary and middle school sons’ lunches. As far as boys are concerned, funny always seems to trump serious.

Getting ready with the first Halloween “joke of the day!”

Since Halloween is just around the corner, my plan is to print Halloween-themed jokes, cut them out and stuff them into each of my four son’s lunch bags every day through October 31.

I have searched online and found many funny, child-appropriate Halloween jokes. I especially like the jokes found here and here. Below is a list of my favorite 25 silly Halloween jokes that I will be including in the lunch bags this month.

Q. Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into.

Q. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A. The trombone

Q. Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he didn’t have the guts

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch

Q. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A. He had no body to go with.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank

Q. What did the daddy ghost say to his son?
A. Don’t spook until spooken to.

Q. Which ghost is the best dancer?
A. The boogie man

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. I’ve got a boo boo.

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks

Q. What do ghosts eat for breakfast on Halloween?
A. Rice Creepies

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up

Q. Why can’t skeletons play church music?
A. Because they have no organs

Q. What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A. Sham-BOO

Q. What do you call a vampire who makes pancakes?
A. Count Spatula

Q. What kind of music do mummies like?
A. Wrap

This silly undertaking of mine may end up dead on arrival. But that’s OK. This mummy won’t get all wound up if my boys poke fun at me for jokes that Sphinx.

(Photos by: Chris Elt, Jeffrey Beall, David Carmack Lewis, GB Packards, R. Mansoke, Timmy Gunz)